Performance review with a vampire

Underweight… For the sixth time I’m underweighted! Again! What can be sadder than an opportunity wiggling in front of you and you being unable to take it? My favourite Korean vampire band will be in town. Of course, they need Nourishment volunteer staff for the time they’ll be around. V and D and N are coming and I can’t literally apply to feed them. Am I crazy? My sister thinks I am…

I open the door and what do I see? My sister is here already feeding Raoul, my iguana. She hates reptiles in general but loves Raoul’s calm demeanor. I leave the keys in the keyholder and toss my coat on the sofa to lay in it closed eyed. For once, she isn’t mocking my intents.

Then I get up quickly and I leave behind me, her concerned blue eyes directly to the shower. There, I bawl my eyes out. This is an additional failure to my long list of failures.

—Do you want to eat some chicken wings? — She shouts. My assassin brown eyed stare soaking the floor, pushes her to fall back a little but her big bust goes up and down and she seems to remember why she came here — I think it is in your best interest to swallow sole grease from today onwards
—Why should I? I didn’t pass… Again. I’m giving up — I melt down into the floor and lay there.
— What if I told you I got an invitation to be a feeder? — My chest literally feels like being crushed under a hippo. Maya is always… My dear sister. She doesn’t hog or monopolizes opportunities for herself. She works on them and… It helps being attractive. Big busted and white skinned with big blue eyes. I’m just the one who looks like cleaning service in a luxury hotel…
— What did you sell to become a feeder?
— FYI I sold nothing. My boss has an acquaintance who has a friend who couldn’t, literally, become a feeder cause he caught the Corona virus.
— Maya, don’t joke with me! — I’m using my puppy eyes to say «yes!» with all my being but still playing hard to get with my words. And she knows.
— I am not! The thing is… The vampire who needs feeding is not the VDN trio but… Their manager.
—And how come this acquaintance of yours couldn’t find anyone in their circle who wanted to be a Feeder? I’d kill for it!
— Are you going to kill me?
— No. Anyways it must have a catch. There’s always a catch in small letters
—Ah… Well. As a matter of fact…
— What with it?! Come on Maya, he might have asked directly for you… — I’d happily trash a hammer into her skull if she weren’t quite a decent human being and loved me — Her face goes red and she stammers:
—How did you? I didn’t know until today! Come on Andrea, you can go in my place. You only need to gain weight. And gaining it isn’t difficult if the person doing the training is the manager themselves…
— Don’t you think he won’t realize with his superb vampire senses?!
— He is blind… We both have the same smell dear twin

True. We’re twins. As different from one another as beauty and the dull, but we are still identical twins. Genetically speaking. If we look nothing alike is because of the fenotype markers. Still, we’re twins so this might work.
— Are you sure he is blind?
— Yes. We met today…

That was three days ago. Tonight I’m meeting Trevor so he can asses me. Am I going to fail a seventh time?

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