How to write fiction

How to get rejected by any editor

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For Mike Nappa[1] there are 77 reasons why your book was rejected. As a matter of fact he only uses that number for copywriting marketing reasons and the number of reasons presented in the aforementioned book are more. Among those reasons, the first one he uses is BECAUSE YOU DON’T WRITE WELL ENOUGH.

In dirtier words “your writing smells like bullshit” Which can be or not, true. Regarding the effort invested in your writing. NONETHELESS the most important reason comes as the number 31.

It has nothing to do with your writing. It is related to editorial work and you doing it instead of them.

A reason good enough to be happier some spaces exist that have nothing to do with publishing houses. I mean, I know editors can do a good job at helping you reshaping your book but the kind of editors I’m talking about work for publishing houses. The big fish we’re supposed to strive to work with and admire.

So, what’s not to do their job summarized and in a paraphrase (maybe a little… or a lot biased):

This reason doesn’t go advertised since it might ruin the reputation of editors and literary agents. But as they’re already swamped or snowed under work, they don’t have the extra time. We need to appeal to them with EVERYTHING WE CAN TO PUSH THE BOOK IN FRONT OF THE PEOPLE WITH THE WALLET. After all, they deal with one or two petty cocky authors, hiring a conference room for a book presentation, answering dull e-mails, scavenging in book proposals… Come on, they don’t write like the gods for some obscure unknown reason. (Some of them do write but writing is not as profitable as being an editor it seems to me[2])

Thus, a book proposal is judged mainly in the amount of work, the editor needs to add to his already sardine canned agenda.

[1] Editor, copywriter and literary agent in Nappaland Literary Agency

[2] Remember that this blog deals with nonsense so never take anything really serious. Unless you agree with me.

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